All hail the Glowcloud
All hail the Glowcloud
perfect pictures for an imperfect world
im glad this is exploding. it’s one of the most powerful things on my blog. make it known worldwide guys.
Some of your blog themes are using ridiculously small font sizes. I often have to zoom to 200% to read things and usually that makes the elements on the page go bonkers. Your super important thoughts just aren’t worth that kind of trouble.
Lets forget about old farts like me who have a slightly hard time seeing things—there are plenty of folks with vision related disabilities that could benefit from more reasonable font sizes.
With that in mind, here are some theme tips from your pal, Froggie…
- Pick a theme that allows you to have —at minimum— a 12pt font. 14pt would be my preferred size. That way, even if someone does need to zoom (Ctrl +/- on your keyboard) they won’t have to zoom quite as much—giving a better chance that the page will retain its design integrity. If you choose a font size of 6, I will hire a monkey to poop inside all your left socks.
- Make sure that your font color and background have decent contrast. Light text should be placed on a dark background, dark text on a light background. If you place white text on a super light gray background, I will send a very charming wombat to seduce your lover and snapchat you pictures of their erotic encounters.
- Text colors should probably be limited to black, white and gray. Sometimes dark colors with low color saturation are acceptable too. I know you really like neon purple, but some people might stab themselves in the eye. You are endangering their ocular health. You don’t want that kind of guilt hanging on your conscience.
- Make sure that your navigation is easy to find and big enough to see even at a glance. Sometimes I feel like I am hunting for Waldo just trying to find a damned “next page” button. It should be under your last post at the bottom of the page. It should have big letters, possibly with an enthusiastic arrow. If I have to scroll the top of your page and use a microscope to find your ‘next’ button… a surly aardvark will steal your tax forms, erase your real name, and replace it with Dildo Baggins.
- Make sure your ask, about me, and other buttons of importance are in a logical place and are easily readable. Typically at the top of your sidebar is a great spot.
- Always double check to make sure your links work as intended. I can’t tell you how many times I have seen silly mistakes like htt://blahblah.tumlr.corn
- Make sure any clutter on your page is worth it. Every element you put on your page has to be loaded. There are many with slower connections who may have to wait an annoyingly long time for sites to load. It’s possible that your supercool globe with all the flags of people visiting isn’t as necessary as you think.
- You might also put a link to your mobile site on your page so people with slow connections can just load the essentials.
- Endless scrolling is nice in theory, but it is often very unreliable. Especially when used with 50 to 100 pages. For people with older, slower computers it will crash constantly. And if you are like me, and require a lot of pageviews for business purposes, it can really mess up your site statistics.
- Consider avoiding posts with a great deal of blockquotes. Perhaps even edit the post and remove any parts that are irrelevant so that there are as few blockquotes as possible. If you do not, you risk blockquotes shooting off the side of your page and there is absolutely no way to discern what is being said. If you reblog something with 50 or more blockquotes, highly trained ninja raccoons will just judge you silently while twiddling their cute little thumbs.
- Lastly, if you have a music player on your blog, please disable autoplay.
I have recently signed a contract with a fire breathing dragon. If you still have autoplay on your blog at midnight, September 1, he will hunt you down. He will summon angry thermite fires from the depths of his bowels. He will look you dead in the eyes—his nostrils flaring with puffs of white hot fire so intense, your skin begins to peel. He will move in closer so you can feel his exhales on your shoulders. They will bead up with sweat with every passing breath.
And when you tell him you think “autoplay is actually pretty neat!”…
His eyes will glow orange, burning your retinas. A great grumble will churn in his stomach as he pushes the flames toward his esophagus. He will open his mouth wide and you will see the blaze gurgling in the back of his throat…
He will then sit you down in a comfy chair and give you a stern talking to about how autoplay sucks total balls. It sucks, like, at least 80 balls. On a 10 ball scale.
Autopsy report shows Louisiana police lied about suspect’s suicide by shooting self in the back
August 25, 2014
An autopsy report released this week cast further doubt on a police officer’s claim that a suspect committed suicide by shooting himself while handcuffed in the back of a police cruiser, reports KATC.
According to the first page of the official autopsy report released by the Iberia Parish Coroner’s Office, Victor White III, 22, died from a gunshot to the chest, not in his back as reported by the arresting officer.
White was arrested by State Police in March of this year on narcotics charges and, according to authorities, was handcuffed, with his hands behind his back, in the back seat of a police cruiser when he refused to exit the vehicle for processing. According to the police report, the arresting officer went to get help and when he returned he found White critically wounded from a gunshot wound to his back.
Police believe that White had somehow hidden a gun in the backseat of the cruiser and committed suicide by shooting himself. White died shortly after, with police stating there were no surveillance cameras in that area of the parking lot where the car was parked.
Questions were immediately raised as to how White could have smuggled a gun into the cruiser and then managed to shoot himself in the back when left alone.
According to the autopsy report, the bullet entered White’s chest, perforated his left lung and heart before exiting his armpit area and lacerating his upper arm.
The report still lists his death as a suicide.
Admitting that the case is still being investigated, State Police Master Trooper Brooks David said that state troopers originally did believe the gunshot entry wound was in White’s back.
No explanation was given for how White could have shot himself in the chest with his hands cuffed behind him.
So apparently iCloud was hacked and pretty much every female celebrity’s nudes were leaked. I’d like to remind my followers not to post them, because they’re supposed to be private, and just because some asshole leaked them doesn’t mean you should make it worse by spreading them around.
Important, always-relevant comic done by the wonderful Ursa Eyer.
THIS IS ABSOLUTELY CORRECT ACTUALLY
THIS MAKES ME REALLY HAPPY
he was 100% against preaching to unwilling people, too, and all for bringing religion into the lives of those who wanted it. he would often say that those who pray loudly in front of others were the worst kind of believers
what a cool dude
it makes me sad when people mischaracterize jesus like he was literally the nicest dude ever like he could be anyones bff if he tried because he was so rad like
i hate christians who make him seem rude like lol no stopv
YES YES YES.
this is because the pharisees would go out into public, get on their knees, and pray where everyone could see them.
because they wanted everyone to see how good they were and how pious, because they were sort of religious authority.
but jesus came and told people to do the opposite, because he wanted them to be humble.
because God wants you to be devoted to a relationship with Him, not to be devoted to making sure others think highly of you.
jesus also encouraged people to do good deeds quietly, or even anonymously.
because he wanted you to do good deeds for the sake of others, not for how good it’ll make you feel or for others to praise you.
jesus was the absolute coolest and i fucking hate it when anyone points fingers at a certain group of people and says “GOD HATES-” NO HE DOESN’T.
THAT WAS HIS WHOLE THING. HE LITERALLY LOVED EVERYONE. ????
This is the type of Christianity and Christians that I like.